For goodness' sake

"Pettiness is a serious malady;

The average man has no greatness of soul

And cannot know how the noble man feels --

How he experiences pleasure, or the blows of fate;

How he looks on the meaning and depth of things,

Accepts his destiny and trusts in God"

—Frithjof Schuon, Autumn Leaves and the Ring, 51.

A stream in the snow, by Oska Bergman, 1910

Some--most--need others to hold them accountable for good behavior.

Someone I used to know told me that morality doesn’t apply when it’s a life or death survival scenario, but that seems like a weighty conjecture. On the contrary morality might matter most when the situation is intense, dire, exaggerated, life or death.

The world has probably always been full of deceit cloaked in virtue. But my observation in modern times, the only time I can truly observe, is that deep and real goodness is .01% of the population. Most people cannot be trusted, and the more one masquerades as good it almost seems to imply the opposite- in my experience it is the pastors and deacons of churches who have the darkest skeletons in their closet, and it is the women who preach “female support” and “sister love yasss queen” who will be the first to try to seduce a taken man; so-called humanitarians who abuse children in other countries. In the end, most of us are mere slaves to our desires. 

Goodness does not have to imply dogma or a puritanical life. Goodness can be wild, as it exists naturally, not boring and not mundane and not beige. Goodness is aligning with truth and virtue, yes, but are those things not high and beautiful and the very threads that run through reality? Is truth not exhilarating? Why do we see "darker" behaviors and aspects of reality as intriguing and exciting? Is it the mystique of the hidden?

We use each other to hold ourselves accountable, but I find such beauty and strength and honor in the rare person who is good and righteous for goodness' sake. No one needs to hold me accountable for right action- I find joy and fulfillment in frequent house cleanings of the mind and spirit, of keeping that vertical axis centered through my spine and up, up, up. Of course, there is a reward for living this way. It is felt behind the forehead, it is felt in contented smiles worn throughout a solitary day for "no reason" at all, it is felt in divine connections and relationships, it is felt in the ease and depth of the breath, the upright torso not weighted down by an unclean conscience and a sick desire to gobble up what it can for itself. 

Here is a question to ponder, especially if you consider yourself decent: what would you do if you knew no one would find out? If there was no one around to judge or label, what sorts of acts would you delight in indulging in? It's good to be honest with ourselves, at the very least. And ultimately, let us learn to be principled without the presence of others, as a divine pact, as soul-nourishment, in celebration of the goodness and beauty and truth of this life that we're currently getting to wear a while.