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| Star of Peace, by Michael Whelan |
The women I find most beautiful and intriguing are not necessarily possessing of the most perfect faces or bodies. Rather, it is a more subtle quality that attracts and inspires me, which is what beauty must do, yes? A side note: When I speak of finding a female beautiful or attractive, as a woman myself, I mean this in a very nonsexual way. I've been told more than once in my life that I'm the "straightest woman X has ever met" and this is very true. That said, though, I am very drawn to, appreciative of, and inspired by beauty, in its myriad forms.
All this said, I do find myself drawn to certain females, and I find a feminine attraction to be very distinct from the male kind that I'm so familiar with. So this is a different field of beauty and the potential for inspiration- there is architectural inspiration, there is literary inspiration, that is- beauty in the structuring of words and thoughts, beauty in the natural world, beauty in the relationship with man as a woman, and beauty in observing the female nature as another woman. And in embodying that which I find beautiful and inspiring and good.
In observing other women that I find something of the divine in, something beautiful, something that inspires me, certainly there is an aspect of physical beauty present but I have come to realize that the women I enjoy observing most are the ones that might go unnoticed in crowds. The standard woman of America who has perfected her fitness and mastered the cheekbone contour with makeup - not to dismiss either of those things - is, to me, just another expensive house in a depressing upper middle class suburb. By this I mean- boring, a quality of sameness, and a certain predictability. I don't find it inspiring, which is to say I don't find it beautiful either.
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Sunrise, by Leopold Schmutzler |
After giving this more thought, over time, I've come to realize that the beauty and inspiration (I do seem to use these words synonymously, which I hope isn't confusing or in error) I derive from observing certain women stems primarily from the way they are, far and above how they look. It just so follows that the inner quality of the females I find so beautiful and intriguing seems to also inform their outer qualities. So they do tend to carry an outer beauty as well, though different from the norm, as its informed by, graced by, this inner nature which is the root.
It was whilst watching a documentary about the secret world of the geishas, who value beauty in mannerism over mere physical beauty, that I began noticing it is the etiquette of women that first intrigues me, grabs my attention, makes me observe from afar. During which time I'm waiting, watching for those modern tones to surface, to show themselves and make a bore of it all, wash away the magic of maybe possibly possessing... Something Other.
I love Traditional women the most, not to be confused with a 1950's housewife stereotype of simple submission and flowery dresses, but those who have somehow managed to shed the heavy cultural cloak of feminism, who have interesting and developed minds outside the predictable and stale downloads of academia, who can touch on a variety of unusual and sophisticated histories, philosophies, arts, and sciences far beyond the public school bookshelves of Marx and Kant.
I adore females who are quiet, even soft-spoken- oh to hear a soft and soothing female voice in these times of deepened women's voices, in these times of the feminine run wild which has ironically enough made women more masculine as there is no grounding force- a dire lack of Shiva, the lightning rod to ground the chaos of Shakti. This soft-spokenness I don't want to confuse with lacking confidence or maturity, but rather a possessing of grace and elegance so as to be in control of oneself enough to be able to hold ones tongue well- in this multitude of words we exist in, how valuable the one who can refrain, then, when speaking, do so as to strike, to make an impact, even gently.
And beyond all this, I love women who are quietly happy, clearly contented in a way that reflects a disciplined and developed interior world.
This form of beauty, this rare combining of ways of being, is very needed in these times. I can count on one hand the female figures who have inspired me in this way, and if I use both hands then I could include some fictional characters I've seen on film or met online who seem to uphold the virtues.
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| Koyuki in the Last Samurai |
If I think about what makes these traits and behaviors so attractive, I believe it comes down to that they seem to point to a level of detachment from the world, an inner serenity and calm, which are all qualities, at least precursors, of forging a path to the transcendent.
