A quick note amidst the dawn of the migration

"Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." 

- Arthur Schopenhauer, Counsels and Maxims

In our region of the Inland Northwest grows a tree with a secret. Though it masquerades all year as one of the conifers, come October its true deciduous nature is revealed. What looks like an evergreen forest becomes adorned with streaks of gold, and when the sun shines through and you happen to be passing by underneath, it can move you to tears. It is the real golden wood like Tolkien told us about, physical of course, yet creates a feeling beyond physical that is maybe even more palpable, a liminal story-world where conifers turn gold and lose their needles. Majestic and divine and awe-inspiring are all the right words, but they're not enough. Getting to experience it feels like a pure blessing. It is the Western Larch and it enriches our autumn days with its cheery gold paintbrush strokes across the landscape. A harbinger of the seasonal shift from light to dark, and the last bolt of color of the year, its yellowing lets us know that winters snows are right at the doorstep.

That is how the landscape looked when we drove through it waving our good-byes, then flew up over it early one morning when there was barely enough light to see, me with quiet tears moistening my cheeks, and love for a place putting an ache in my chest- surely one of the most interesting and deep relationships of my life.

Now I write from Kentucky, where I was met by the usual illness upon arrival, though fortunately it was short-lived this time as I'm in a healthier state overall this year (and adorned with my BioGeometry ring and pendant!). I'm starting to think that the sickness I experience coming to Kentucky each winter has to do with electrosensitivity. We already know I'm extremely sensitive by nature- my husband lovingly nicknamed me sensi-tiffany several years ago, and his canary, and it's true: if something is damaging, rest assured I will be the first to feel it and respond. While this used to feel like a burden, I now see it as a hidden blessing. And it seems the longer I live in the remote area that I do, the more stark the contrast when I suddenly throw myself back into the electrosmog that engulfs modern civilization. 

Alas! Here I am! In Kentucky, my hometown, visiting loved ones for a few months. 

During the days I'm usually working, studying, walking under the oaks, or helping family, but at night I've structured a lovely evening routine for myself. It involves: a 30-minute sauna session, a cold shower, some stretching, a mug of hot cacao (you can use the code TIFFANY98397 to get 15% off your order) and then hot herbal tea, some reading (right now I'm finishing up Richard Schulze's "There Are No Incurable Diseases" in preparation for a cleanse I plan to do soon), and knitting. This evening routine is balancing, nourishing, and crucial. 

In other good news, I've found a wonderful massage therapist here in my hometown and am enjoying a bi-weekly full-body massage for lymphatic drainage complete with hot stones and cupping. I feel fortunate to have connected with such a skilled masseuse, who is a true artist of her craft, a healer indeed.

Usually I help with an interior design project of some kind while I'm here and this year we've decided it's to turn an old unused bedroom into my mother's office for her Ebay store. I plan to create work stations and systems that will help her streamline some processes and be better organized in general. So I'll probably begin working on that soon.

I'm also hoping to start pulling back the carpet in the "new" addition part of the house that I stay in when I visit, with hopes to see nice hardwood underneath! We shall see. In my mind, I see this room turning into something like this, folky and rustic. But that might be a project for the next visit.

For whatever reason, I've been drawn to fictional literature lately instead of my usual non-fiction in the genres of health and esoteric spiritual topics. Driving back from the park this evening at dusk, I noticed the cold bluish LED lights shining from the windows and it turned my thoughts to older times when lantern light warmed the windows and blessed the village with a coziness. So I thought: to conjure this feeling while I'm here, and during this holiday time especially, I'm going to read some Victorian-era books. I already had Jane Eyre here, so I'll probably begin there (though when it comes to the Bronte sisters, I'm more drawn to Emily, as a person anyway, but who's to say who I'll like most as a writer?). And earlier this evening I was in the basement of the town library printing something very large, and as it printed I poked around and ended up making my way through the first few pages of Charles Dickens' Bleak House and really feeling drawn to his writing style and the voice of that era. So I have a copy of his "Great Expectations" on it's way to me in the mail, too. I wonder if anyone reading this has any Victorian-era book recommendations for me?

A short post this, but it's late and now I'm off to get into the aforementioned evening routine. Wishing anyone reading this health, grace, clarity, and peace of mind. 

x

In Nighthawk just a few weeks ago; sometimes when I'm away, like now, I stop and imagine it just as it might be right this minute... with the lonesome coyote howl, the scuttling sage grouse, the slow underground heartbeat of hibernating creatures, the quiet spacious bigness all around, the air so pregnant with freedom.

BioGeometry studies

I vaguely mentioned and introduced BioGeometry to you in my last post, and would now like to share some interesting and compelling experiments. 

My BioSignatures Pendant

Electro-smog: The Miracle of Hemberg

A pilot research project under the patronage of the Swiss Mediation Authority for Mobile Communication and Environment (MAMCE) in collaboration with leading government telecom provider Swisscom, implemented BioGeometry energy-quality balancing to remedy ailments of electro-sensitivity in the rural town of Hemberg. BioGeometry was successful in eliminating the ailments of electro-sensitivity, among a number of other health conditions that it remedied, as well as positively impacting the overall ecology of the area. Media coverage, supported by official releases by the MAMCE and an independent study of the project, dubbed the results "The Miracle of Hemberg." In a Swiss television interview with the Mayor and residents of Hemberg almost two years later (Sept. 2005), the sustained energy-quality balancing effect of BioGeometry was confirmed. 

--> watch a short video about the project here

Electro-smog: The Miracle of Hirschberg

Following the success of the first Swiss BioGeometry project in Hemberg, Dr. Karim was commissioned by the local government of the Swiss town of Hirschberg to implement a similar BioGeometry solution there. The project was documented by Swiss TV Channel 1, and the documentary aired on prime-time TV in Switzerland showing the overwhelming positive impact of BioGeometry energy-quality balancing on the health of residents and livestock in the area, which are an important economic factor to this rural town. 

Quality of Water

Dr. Masuro Emoto's pioneering research with water crystal photography captivated audiences all over the world when he published his findings in the international best seller "The Message From Water." His work gave the world a glimpse of the influence that the quality of energy and the environment has on water by photographing ice water crystals under different energy conditions. Water impregnated with good energy quality formed beautiful, well-balanced hexagonal water crystals, while water impregnated with bad energy quality produced badly formed and unbalanced crystals. Dr. Emoto's technology transforms energy quality into form and Dr. Karim's BioGeometry uses forms to balance energy-quality, and this led to a scientific synergy with amazing results. BioGeometry energy-quality balancing yielded beautiful perfectly structured and balanced water crystals. 70% of our world and our bodies are composed of water, and the energy-quality of that water is a mirror of the quality of our lives.

Animal Farming & Agriculture

BioGeometry increases growth & quality of poultry:

A research study carried out by Dr. A Hussein of Suez Canal University and the Ministry of Agriculture implemented BioGeometry energy-balancing solutions in chemical free poultry breeding. The published results showed that BioGeometry was effective in significantly increasing the growth and quality of the chicken as well as lowering the mortality rate. 

Apple orchards:

A three-year research project at the University of Wageningen, Holland by Professor Peter Mols on the use of BioGeometry in organic apple agriculture, concluded that BioGeometry was effective in eliminating certain parasites and significantly increasing agricultural yield.

Freshwater crops in salt:

A two-month experiment by the late Eng. Adel Ammar to test the possibility of using BioGeometry to allow freshwater plants (sweet potato) to grow in saltwater from the Red Sea showed astonishing results. The control potatoes that were given saltwater shriveled by the end of the day, while the BioGeometry treated salt water potatoes budded normally and stayed fresh longer than the sweet potatoes given fresh water.

Study shows: BioGeometry reduces harm from mobile phone radiation as shown by reduced thermal effect

Mobile phone networks operate at frequencies that are located in the region of the electromagnetic spectrum in both microwave radiation and radio frequency radiation levels. Exposure to such radiation through mobile phone usage has a harmful effect due to the absorption of electromagnetic energy by the skin and other living tissues, causing a small temperature rise in those areas.

Stress reduction in automobile environment:

There are increased environmental stress factors within a car, especially with regards to electromagnetic stress from the extensive electrical system inside the metal body of the car. Double blind experimentation showed that BioGeometry successfully reduced driver's psychological stress markers as seen using biofeedback measurements. This study was featured in TedxCairo Talks. 

Analysis of results: Brainwaves: Increase of Delta indicating relaxation and decrease in alpha/Beta indicating less excitation (decrease in eye movement and breathing frequency with increased oxygen saturation indicates less stress)

Energy-Quality Balancing of Airplane Environments:

BioGeometry energy-quality balancing solutions have been implemented on a number of private aircrafts to harmonize the increased level of environmental stress associated with flight. Environmental stressors include electromagnetic fields, cosmic radiation, chemicals, and psychological stress. Biofeedback measurements were conducted on the crew using the BioPulsar-Reflexograph biomedical measurement device, which is certified as a medical diagnostic device in Europe. The balance of electrical organ function inside the BioGeometry energy-balanced aircraft significantly surpassed those taken outside the aircraft under normal ground conditions.

BioGeometry Interior Architecture & ADHD:

"A Design Approach Using BioGeometry in Interior Architectural Spaces with References to Heal Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder," by Dina Ra'afat Abdul Rahman Howeid, a PhD thesis completed at the Cairo University, Faculty of Engineering shows a vast improvement in ADHD criteria tested, including: child focus & attention, communication, dynamic behavior, behavior, teamwork, independence, hyperness, social stages, and academic skills.

National Virus C Project Success:

Dr. Taha Khalifa, the Dean of the Pharmacology Department at Al-Azhar University, Egypt, publicly announced that the preliminary phase of the comparative National Virus C Project showed that BioGeometry energy-balancing obtained the best results among all other pharmaceutical and alternative remedies. BioGeometry achieved a 90% result in normalizing liver enzymes, compared to the other remedies, which only achieved results in the 20-30% range. In the case of medical drugs, some achieved around 50% but they could only be used for half the cases in the group who did not show low blood platelet counts.

_______________________________________________________________________________

If this research interested you, here's a good introductory video to learn more:

Ambergold transformations

"You ask of my companions. 

Hills, sir, and the sundown..."
- Emily Dickinson, in a letter to Mr. Higginson

It is the first of October and my world is an Ivan Shishkin painting and a Luke Gibson song, who I listened to yesterday while driving through these highlands, with their ambergold light and crisp changed air.

Autumn is the season most reflective of my inner world. And it seems to me the most Celtic-feeling season of the year, most reflective of an old world quality, most liminal. 

Winter is lovely too--in places where the snow is plentiful--but winter can feel skeletal. In Fall there is still meat on the bone, but more matured than summer, and much more inward than summer- the chatty extrovert.

Still being in the summer of my life, maybe that is why I rarely feel at home or situated in it; since Fall is the season that resonates so deeply, I suppose I have much to look forward to for that season of life yet to come. 

Earlier in the summer, I was in Spokane for the day poking around a great little antique shop I had found. Back in the corner was a treasure trove of old photos and magazines. I spent at least an hour sitting cross-legged in the back corner perusing all of these old photos and assembling a big stack to take home with me. The images were mostly anonymous and usually timeless, except for the random note some of them would have scribbled on the back (e.g. "Bert's first deer, Oct 1932" or "Deception Pass, 1935"). I'm not sure why this sort of thing feels so fascinating to me, but it does! So, with the inspiration of the magazine clippings (most from the old "American West" magazines) and the photos, I've been piecing together little... collages, I guess you would call them. I'm not sure. But here are the ones I made this morning:

And here is another one in the works, though I haven't glued the photos in place yet and I plan to add some stitching later on...

When it comes to art and the handmade, I've also been spending time each day slowly building a scarf. It's an intricate pattern which is challenging my knitting skills in new ways. Certainly no beginners scarf, it is the Windy Scarf by Martin Storey, and I plan to gift it as a Christmas present (if I can complete it correctly and in time!).

And of course I always have a strange embroidery piece going. I started embroidering many years ago and my embroideries tend to involve esoteric symbolism which seem to grow more peculiar the deeper I go. This time, it is Rebis- the Great Work, the ultimate balance, the realized Self though still contained and corporeal, the male-female, the solar and lunar, these principles and more, in an inner balance and order. Certainly inspired by my reading of Eros and the Mysteries of Love earlier this year, and still a work in progress.

I am a seeker, if nothing else. Devoted to my spiritual quest. I love to take experiential approaches to wisdom which I think is a superior form of knowing, but I also wholeheartedly enjoy the intellectual seeking as well, though I'm aware it isn't an end in itself. Sometimes the intellectual seeking will open doors in my mind, through which I can then walk my feeling body. I especially love when I learn things intellectually that resonate strongly with my intuition, which happened multiple times this summer whilst reading "The Mystery of the Grail" and finally coming to understand this grail cycle, particularly the non-physical nature of it. But recently I have been getting all sorts of rapturous delights learning about this new topic I came across during one of my rabbit hole jaunts. It is called BioGeometry and it is a lovely marriage of two of my passions in this life: esoteric wisdom and health.

Upon first glance, to the untrained mind, BioGeometry might seem like a pseduoscience or airy-fairy woo-woo, but this is far from true. BioGeometry is qualitative physics, and it occupies a pristine frontier for understanding health, and reality, in the modern age. 

If you are interested, I'll explain it in this nutshell: BioGeometry is the science of space energy balancing, with it we can learn how to take disruptive energies--rather than trying to block or avoid them--and transform them (in this way, I suppose it's very tantric in nature). Because we are enveloped in a sea of invisible disruptive energies called electro-magnetic frequencies, which wreak havoc on our health from every angle, you can maybe begin to see how powerful the implications are both on a personal and very large scale, yes?

Here are some resources for anyone who would like to run down this rabbit hole with me:

• BioGeometry and Life Force with Dr. Ibrahim Karim (video)
  
  
• A great interview with Dr. Karim's daughter, Doreya (video)
  
  
• A playlist of lectures for the devoted student
  
  
• And Dr. Karim's book which I'm just beginning:
  
  
  
  
  

.::*::.

It is already that time of the year again. Soon, we make the eastward migration to spend time with family for a few months. I am always pulled in two directions with this, but there's no use going into all that. It is what it is, and it is a good idea for me in this life to accept what is as much as possible, while quietly working behind the scenes to make adjustments and optimizations. But something tells me this will be the last time I leave my home in the winter, certainly for so long.

I wish anyone reading this a lovely autumn.
Blessings to you all.

In memory

It was a surprise to find myself walking amidst cicada and cricket choirs in the thick, hot, wet, Southern air in late August. 

Just a week earlier I had been sitting cross-legged in a gompa in the Okanogan Highlands, gleaning wisdom from a Buddhist monk during a regular Thursday evening class.

But the grandmother who the Buddhist group promised to recite prayers for did end up passing that very evening, her soul guided and protected by Orthodox Christian prayers and by Tibetan Buddhist prayers (there is benefit in having a Perennial-minded granddaughter!).

My Ma has moved on from this world, she being one-half of the pair who raised me a great deal in my early years. It was in an old white farmhouse in south central Kentucky, with a "haunted forest" in the distance, a dairy farm behind (where we worked), and an old oak shade tree beside the house that provided shade from the sun as we shucked corn for hours on end in those hot golden summer days that seem so very long ago.

It was up at 5AM each morning to walk hand in hand up the gravel path to the barn, where we'd spend the next several hours bottle feeding calves. Now I know the sadness that is a conventional dairy farm, but back then I didn't. 

Later, we'd make lunch and I'd ride a bicycle around in circles "delivering newspapers" which were just rocks. And Ma would exclaim just as excitedly with each new toss as she did with the first. 

Then, maybe we would go inside and make sugar cookies with "Funkytown" or "Seasons in the Sun" playing on my little baby blue Mickey Mouse record player.

I'd play in large piles of cottonseed and we'd work in the garden, no doubt inhaling all of the little particulates that lead to her lung scarring.

Ma always wanted to change up things, so once a month we'd end up repainting a room--usually the kitchen--and I remember how big I felt when she let me paint the garage on my own (I was only about 5 years old). Whether it just came naturally or if it was instilled by her during those formative years, I've never been able to sit idle.

In the late afternoons, Pa would get home from milking cows all day and ride me around the house on all fours, me the little toehead jockey. He'd tell me to watch my little knee when we stormed past the hot iron woodstove. Then, sometimes he'd let me drive his big old green Chevy Silverado truck around the farm, him manning the pedals while I steered-- I still attribute this to the main reason for my spotless driving record. 

In the evenings, we'd eat simple dinners like a bowl of buttermilk with cornbread, then me and Ma would wrestle on the living room floor while Pa, in his recliner, would slap his leg laughing at us. On cold nights, Ma and I would get into bed and, facing one another, giggle-shiver until we both warmed up.

As I grew up, I moved to many different places, but we never lost touch. This Thursday was the first time my planner didn't have "call ma" as one of the list items. A few years ago, it went from "call ma and pa" every week, to "call ma", and now to empty space.

Pa and I were just as close, but he passed three years ago. They both lived to be 87 years old, both just shy of 88 by one month, and when I think back on their life, it's amazing that stress didn't take them sooner.

Ma and Pa lost their two wonderful sons, Frankie and Jerry, when they were only 15 and 16 years old. Both boys were on their way to church in an old Corvair when they went off the road over a bridge. No one knows why it happened. So it broke Ma and Pa for a long, long time. They still had three daughters to care for, my mother being the youngest, but the years to come were very dark and difficult for them, my mother included who was only 7 years old when she lost her two superhero brothers. Her little kid portraits go from huge smiles and pure joy to depression and complacency and it breaks my heart to this day. The way that tragedy echoed down and imprinted on our family line can't be overstated. It is in my DNA even now in myriad ways, though I never knew my uncles.

But something else that is surely in my DNA is this: I was told at Ma's funeral last month by an older cousin a story I had never heard before. He said that his dad and another man were the first to arrive on the scene of Frankie and Jerry's wreck that Sunday morning and that they worked hard to try to pry the car off of them, which had been crinkled and smooshed into the size of "that piano right there" (recall we were standing in the funeral home as he told me this). The men had been using pry bars and were just about to go get a tractor when Ma arrived on the scene, ran down from her car, and using only her bare hands, managed to bend and lift the car as to release the boys from it. She then cradled Frankie's head in her hands, who had already died, and Jerry was taken to the hospital, where he died that night. Knowing Ma, I know this story is real. She was truly a force. My cousin told me that everyone around town talked about her doing that for months after it happened, but not once did Ma ever tell me this story, and she talked sometimes about Frankie and Jerry and that period of life.

And though I've cried for the loss of Ma and Pa both now, which feels like a lost era, and my heart breaks most for the loss of that generation- those authentic salt of the earth people, what I feel more than anything since Ma's passing is that large force, that big energy she had until her last days, I feel a strange void there now. My experience of death of loved ones so far is that it's a strangeness more than anything.

I felt Ma nearby hours before she passed. I felt her in the passenger seat beside me as I drove through the Okanogan Highlands that afternoon to Thursday night class. It was so real that I looked over once, and smiled "at her" and said out loud, "You finally get to see where I live!"

Then, after she passed, I felt her still close, and so I prayed many times a day for her soul to pass on, unattached to here, with peaceful and protected passage. Now, she seems very far away. And with her, so many memories-- the flickers of youth, sun-warmed, gritty, real, and so full of laughter and love.

In loving memory of Anna Katherine Honeycutt, Eugene Honeycutt, and Frankie and Jerry Honeycutt.

Me and ma, circa 1989

A practical post about simple house matters

I think and write a lot about non-material things, but surely it goes without saying that one also has to manage life day in and day out. I wanted to share really quickly a couple of ways I'm going about the simple matters of house lately that I thought might also be valuable to anyone who reads this.

A savings account with high interest

First, I've come upon a savings account with a decent interest rate. There are no minimum balance or deposit requirements and right now I believe the starting rate is 4.3%. If you use my referral link though, you will receive an extra 1% on top of that (and I receive an additional 3 months of the extra percent every time someone opens a new account using my link; don't worry- I don't see who opens an account, only that I have an additional 3 months of increased percentage). So, with the annual percentage yield of 5.3% right now, let's say you put $30,000 into this savings account, then you would earn over $1,500 extra dollars each year by doing nothing! This interest gets paid out in increments each month and automatically deposits into the account. It's one little way to hedge against inflation.

Switching cell phone providers

Have you heard of Mint Mobile? They are a cell phone service provider with really cheap plans. They can afford to do this because they have no physical stores. Currently, they're running a deal of $15/month for an unlimited plan. The signup process is easy, so is switching over from your current provider, and if you're paying, let's say $70/month currently, then you can save over $500 each year by switching (and if you invest that amount into the S&P 500 each year, in 20 years it'll be over $21,000, at a 6.35% return rate). Every little bit adds up.

Food from local landscape

For me, what's really important for sustenance is that it: 

1. be from my local landscape as much as possible
2. be wild as much as possible
3. be harvested in-season and either eaten or preserved then
4. be varied to ensure all nutrient needs are getting filled
5. and be very ethically handled throughout the course of its (plant or animal) life, doing as little harm as possible.

We're able to collect a lot of food each year from our local landscape, and I bet you can too. Despite not currently having a farm or garden, so far this year we've been able to accrue:

• 4 gallons of huckleberries (harvested in the wild, free of charge)
• 20 pounds of cherries
• 20 pounds of apricots (both of which I go pick from the orchard to save money)
• 2 gallons of fireweed tea (harvested in the wild, free of charge, then wilted/rolled/fermented/dried into a lovely tea which we've become very fond of)
• 60 ears of organic non-gmo "Okanogan Gold" corn from a local farmer
• at least 20 meals of trout that Eric harvests from our local lakes (and more to come)
• while we do plan to deer hunt this year, last year we were fortunate to procure well over a hundred pounds of meat from just-killed deer on the roadside (I just had this venison for dinner last night actually, and it's still tasting delicious);  (I'm not talking about rigor mortis deer laying bloated on the side of the road, I'm talking about one deer who had just been hit and we happened to pass by and, fortunate for the poor thing, put it out of its misery, and then cleanly butcher it) don't let it gross you out, it's probably the most ethical meat possible and in no way disgusting, just have to get used to doing it, like anything

Monthly protein budget

While not from our local landscape, I did sign up with Wild Pastures this summer and now we get a monthly box of meat from them which we ration to last us the whole month. We live in a remote area and access to good quality meat is quite rare unfortunately, so getting our chicken, beef, and pork for the month delivered to us, all of it pasture-raised / grass-fed and finished, is wonderful! I also add on some wild caught salmon fillets and a couple of pounds of beef liver, so this also ensures we're getting a variety of nutrient-dense meat each month. Something else I love about our subscription with Wild Pastures is that they work with regenerative farmers who sequester carbon back into the soil. So all of these benefits combined made this a wonderful option for us to fulfill our basic meat needs each month and to keep track of spending.

This amount gives us about 20 meat-containing meals each month, and it's very easy to substitute the remaining 10 with venison, trout, and my vegetarian "Ayurvedic plates."

If you have tips or routines of your own to share, please feel free.

“I tell my wife, as I shave in the morning, I say, ‘Either $2.61, $2.95 or $3.17.’ [depending on which Mc Donalds breakfast item he picked] And she puts that amount in the little cup by me here [in the car]. When I’m not feeling quite so prosperous, I might go with the $2.61,... the market’s down this morning, so I’ll pass up the $3.17 and go with the $2.95.”

-- Warren Buffett

The golden light of Aphrodite

 "Time brought resignation and a melancholy sweeter than common joy."
- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

The lilac-scented air of Spring has come and gone and my body's craving and seeking for solar warmth is finally contented. The steps of my Spring dance with Persephone shuffled from lakeside lounging, cold herbal drinks, fresh fruit, a collarbone dabbed with ambrosia oil, a book on Eros and the mysteries of love and the primordial traditions of sacred sexuality, and sowing seed-prayers with each step and turn of this seasonal waltz.

Late winter and early Spring were difficult. I entered a short dark night, but was able to understand and detach enough to endure and seek the lesson, the soul communication. A threshold was crossed internally, boundaries set, decisions made, the path forward cleared a little. These things are never easy and I suspect there will be many more to move through in this life. But I don't believe the purpose of being here is necessarily ease, do you? 

Now, there is gold surrounding me once again. The gold, the anchor, the ground, the nectar. The vision that I Am.

I rest in Divine revelation that God is being and not a being, and that no religion [at least modern, perhaps a primordial truth did once prevail] contains The Great Everything. Seeking for the right canon, the right tradition, the right way to pray...these constructs only seemed to reinforce the righteous nature of the ego. In setting up camps for who holds the absolute truth about The Absolute, we claim ownership over God and it is my observation that this creates distance from Truth and certainly from Love. 

The cherries are ripening in the trees

Wild roses are in bloom and delicate 

if you touch them they whisper

The kingdom is within

A golden white figure glides through the center of a dark mountain lake

Like Artemis' arrow

Like silk over deep mysteries

Wolves on the shoreline and loons in the cove are howling

Be still and know

An owls cry fills the night and soars into

your dream

Where an easel holds a sheet of papyrus inscribed with music 

And in the dream you hear it sung

But upon waking 

Find your tongue 

unable to mimic what you heard

A primordial chant echoes out through the canyon in morning

The flowers twirl on the slopes and rejoice in color and in fragrance

A cacophony of magpie, and frog, and locust erupts

High on the ridge a white elk and a black one tangle their antlers in battle 

One snake consumes another as they writhe 'round the staff 

That turns into the ankle 

of the golden white figure

Who is walking the path devoted, singing, searching, serene

Amidst the trembling 

and the spectacular light 

“Spiritual realization is theoretically the easiest thing and in practice the most difficult thing there is. It is the easiest because it is enough to think of God. It is the most difficult because human nature is forgetfulness of God.”

- Frithjof Schuon

In May, on Ascension Eve (and on Julius Evola's birthday), Charles Salvo, the man behind Gornahoor passed on from this world. About a week prior, he had appeared momentarily in a dream of mine, something which had never happened before. I ask that anyone reading this will pause and say a prayer for him- in some traditions, the weeks following human death are thought to be a time of great importance as the soul travels disembodied. Charles left behind such a valuable library for the devoted spiritual seeker, those looking to piece together The Mystery, and I'm so grateful to have crossed sacred paths with him in this life. Link to a lovely memoriam.

Now I sit inside typing on what is probably one of the last rainy and stormy afternoons we will see around these parts for a long while. Life is rich with learning and experience and feeling, and also admittedly laced with a low-grade confusion and strange disconnect I haven't been able to reconcile entirely, but it's something I understand and am willing to sit with a while longer to see if [what I believe to be] the source of it works itself out in time. 

I have loved being alone this year more than ever before, and have gained great insight into myself and others just by learning about Ancient Greek female archetypes. There are the vulnerable goddesses: Hera, the wife; Demeter, the mother; and Persephone, the daughter. These three are reliant on relationship to others, and I have only a tiny bit of these archetypes in my personality. Then there are the virginal goddesses: Artemis, lover of the wild, animals, hunting, nature, and fiercely independent; Athena, the level-headed strategist, the warrior; and Hestia, who is such a part of me, keeping home and hearth even if it is only she there to enjoy it, and tending her spiritual world above all. Of these three virginal archetypes, marked by self-sufficiency over relationship, I contain all and to great degree. Then, there is Aphrodite, filling a woman with attentiveness to others, interest in life, lover of beauty and pleasure, able to be in relationship without identifying as that role, and self-sufficient yet soft and captivating. Anytime we are in love or swept up in creativity, it is Aphrodite we embody. It is Aphrodite who can confuse men into mistaking a woman's conversational interest with being fascinated or enamored with them. Aphrodite is what those of Abrahamic religions might scorn as a temptress or seductress, her aura of charm and vitality unsettling to them. 

The more complex the woman, the more archetypes she will contain.

While my personality is mostly composed of Hestia, Aphrodite, Artemis, and Athena, this season Aphrodite especially has wafted in on the fragrance of flowers deeply inhaled, on allowing the dessert to be enjoyed without penitence, by loving my body instead of nitpicking it, by softening my austere brow and drawing me to new and various forms of beauty and pleasure.

The water has also been a stronger calling than ever this season. The water is feminine, after all. Last year, I started swimming in the high mountain lakes here, swimming into the depths which was new to me, and I became somewhat addicted. Now, this year, that addiction has intensified and I find myself getting comfortable in very cold waters, and feeling more courageous than before... not only here in my beloved Swan Lake, but also the frigid glacial waters of Diablo Lake, and the Salish Sea. Though, I have to admit- the Salish Sea was only a dip, and a difficult one at that, I didn't manage any swimming or taking my head under, it was just too freezing cold. But I did meet a man there, from the Czech Republic, who swam for a good 20 minutes while I watched with amazement. When he came to shore, we chatted and he affirmed what I know, which is: reframe the feeling of intense cold, don't let your mind call the sensation "painful" just tell yourself "this is the feeling of cold" and let it be neutral, there is no need for resistance to the sensation. It doesn't have to be experienced as pain. Isn't so much of what we do able to be used toward our Enlightenment? 

It feels as though summer has just arrived, here on this 9th day of July, five days past my 38th birthday, and already the season has been packed with new experience and feeling. In me I carry the suspicion that life could change dramatically this year, but also the notion that it doesn't have to, that all is well and good as it is too, even if unsolved, in-between, not sure yet...

I think I have finally learned to genuinely live in that state of unknowing that Rilke so eloquently wrote about: 

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

The urgency I used to feel to solve all problems as soon as possible is eased now by a simple is-ness. I'm just here. Here to gain wisdom and experience, to grow, to remember and reunite with the divine. But this can all become blurry when the active mind fixates on place, people, things, careers, perceived slights, investments, choices... all of the doing. I always feel I've been here before and done it all anyway. So this time, I shall hold on, but more loosely. 

.::*::.

Related to water and the unknown, here is a story that I found captivating. A tale of shipwreck and unlikely survival. Maybe it'll splash a little perspective on your day, as it did mine.